She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
