Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
