You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
