I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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