just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The Olympian is in my bed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
