He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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