scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
