She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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