Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
