You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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