yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
