Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
