you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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