Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cut my penus on the lid.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
