Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
