I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
