You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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