At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize