Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
