I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
