In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
