I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
