a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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