Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
