everyone is single if you try hard enough
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
