i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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