his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
