Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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