We're like a lot better than the average bears
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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