Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
