Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
