after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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