it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
