If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
