Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
