As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
