She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
