I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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