it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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