Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
