you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
