The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
