I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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