i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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