Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
