problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
