You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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