If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize