McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
