"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hippo gnu deer
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
