My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
