Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
