Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
im on a boat
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