i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
false alarm. still invincible.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize