No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
