No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
