Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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