We're facebook friends in real life
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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