So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
