I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You have to summon your inner elephant
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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